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Louder Than Words

You always want to be the first one to say “I love you.”

When you say it because someone has just said it to you, you run the risk of sounding false.

You know how it goes…

“I love you,” says Person One.

“I love you, too,” says Person Two, in response.

If you’re Number Two, most likely you do mean it.  Why else would you say it?  But even so, no matter how much you mean it, no matter how much you feel it, if you weren’t the one who spit it out first, you most likely said it at that moment because you felt you should.

It’s like the time I went to a Catholic wedding and printed on the program were responses to what the priest was babbling on about.1  The Priest would “domino, domino, domino,”2 and I, like the rest of the guests, would “domino, domino, domino” back, in response.

Why? Because it’s just what you do.  But, I’m not so sure my “dominos” sounded for real.

This all comes about because a friend noted that in my post about New Year’s Eve, I didn’t write that I returned the favor when the Attorney said he loved me.

Truth is, I didn’t.  I didn’t write it because I didn’t say it back.  Partially because I didn’t want to give the stock response, but mostly because I don’t have to say it.  (Neither does he, for that matter.)  He knows by my actions.

Like the time late last summer:

The Attorney was trying to get a stubborn burned-out light bulb out of a hard to reach socket.3  He couldn’t get enough leverage standing on his toes, so he took his shoes off to stand on an ottoman.  Well, it turns out the thing was really stuck and in trying to loosen it, he gripped it too hard and the bulb shattered, raining down shards of glass.

After the initial shock and the relief that nothing flew into his eyes while he was up there, he got down.  Without thinking, he was about to put on his shoes to protect his feet from the broken glass.  But, instinctively I stopped him and grabbed one of his shoes.


Without regard for my own safety, I shoved my hand into his shoe to feel around for glass.  Then almost immediately I froze.

I wasn’t cut, but as I looked at the Attorney dumbfounded, all I could think was, “What the fuck did I just do?”

He just grinned back.  “You love me.”

He knew.

He knew because I may risk getting my hands cut up for somebody, but I’m not gonna stick my hand inside just anybody’s big sweaty size-fourteen shoe.4

That’s real love.

{ fin }

  1. I have no idea what it was because it was in Latin []
  2. my apologies to my Catholic readers, but it all sounded like “domino” to me. []
  3. even with his monkey arms. []
  4. Ya’ll know how I am about feet. []
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  1. Bob Bob

    See, we can learn more about each other by our actions, rather than our words.
    I think it’s a much more real ‘I love you’ to stick a hand in a man’s shoe on a glass hunt, thasn to give a rote response.

  2. rayrayj rayrayj

    That’s one of the sweetest stories I’ve ever read. Now if I can only stop laughing about the “monkey arms” and your your foot aversion. Yep; true love is when Tony, without thinking, will stick his hand in your shoe.

  3. David David

    I love it that you’re writing about love. In your other previous great blog you were a little on the hesitant side to even call the attorney your boyfriend. So nice!

    I’m with you. It’s all in actions. I didn’t spend 16 hours making a 10 year vacation album for Rick’s Christmas because I was bored. I really loved doing it, and his reaction was priceless: “I’m so touched.”

  4. Gene Owen Gene Owen

    Ain’t love grand? Even if it is not verbalized.

  5. TllBlndGy TllBlndGy


  6. irisgirl irisgirl

    One of your greatest talents as a writer is the art of brevity. You are able to tell a huge story in a few well-chosen words. It’s very cool.

    And thanks, as always, for another sweet chapter of your love story!

  7. awytch awytch

    Words aren’t always the things you say, sometimes words are the look in another’s eyes or in your case size 14 shoes, LOL..

    Glad to know you know love.

  8. I find that Eric Segal had it all wrong. “Love” means always having to say you’re sorry.

    Not in a bad way.

    Sometimes I’m sorry I didn’t do enough, say enough, show enough, BE enough.

    But it was a really nice post.

  9. Daryl Daryl

    Well said. You don’t always have to say it to mean it.

  10. David David

    Of note: The Large Tony Blog was the third website I entered into my “Favorites” two or so years ago when I got this computer (after Lifeinlegacy and Towleroad). And West of Mayberry is the 51st! Congratulations!

  11. David David

    Just making it clear: It’s not that I liked the other two better, I just discovered them before I discovered yours!

  12. Aww…what a sweet story.

    As a recovering Catholic, I’ll confirm it often does sound like dominos.

  13. I’ve extricated Keyron from some pretty sticky situations in the past. It’s all little stuff like not to pour hot oil into cold water, things like that.

    He’s good for me too, knows when its time for new clothes, shoes, etc.

  14. Jay Jay

    Actions are good and obvious, but saying it is great too.

  15. Cb Cb

    Hmmm- size 14’s??? Now that IS love!!

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