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I was a moody bitch this week. Which is unusual for me. I’m pretty much a ‘”go with the flow” kind of guy. But all week long I have been irritable and impatient.
There was the day I saw a guy park at gas pump while he ran into a convenience store. He didn’t buy gas. He just used the pump as a parking space. When he drove away I was ready to follow him and snatch him out of his car for holding up the line.
Another day I was ready to punch one of the Phyllises in the mouth for just walking away from the copier when she couldn’t find the jam, leaving ot for the next person to deal with.
And then Tennessee blew it in the first round of the NCCA Tournaments.
With all due respect to my female readers, I felt like I was having a period.
A man period.
Instead of a visit from Aunt Flo, it was a visit from Uncle Fester. Because my bad mood was festering.
I even had pain below my belt.
My nuts ached.
Now, not being a woman, I have never had cramps. But, I can’t imagine it’s much worse than blue balls. If it is, then I have to give it to the ladies. Because a bad case of blue balls can be crippling. Well, maybe not crippling, but trying to not upset the tenderness can make you walk funny.
So, the reality was that I was just horny. Irritably horny. The condition should really be called “black and blue balls” because there is nothing melancholy about the twins being angry.
Unresloved horniness sets a man on edge and can make him mean. Your nuts are screaming at you. Screaming in pain.
“Fuck something or kill something, the choice is yours!”
Being a responsible member of society I tend to lean toward the former.
It’s just that time and distance sometimes get in the way.
Sure, I wrestle with the devil on a very regular basis between visits to The Attorney. But sometimes the devil just keep winning.
Luckily, Friday finally came and I was at The Attorney’s with a readiness that surprised even him.
It’s become sort of a ritual that as soon as I’m in the house he grabs my package as we kiss. He doesn’t do it some much to work me up. He does it because kissing makes me hard and he likes to feel it grow in his hand.
But I was boned before I even got out of my truck. He could see it coming.1
He threw the bolt on his front door. I threw the bolt on him, and a few2 hours later, I was back to my old self.
The man is like Midol for me.
{ fin }
So cool that you guys have this passion. I love it.
I enjoyed your entry. Phylis did no no. I bet you she doesn’t fill the coffee pot, and if she were a man she’d walk away from the empty water cooler. That’s my pet peeve: There are nearly 100 guys in the office but only a handful, including myself [sometimes twice a day], change the water cooler. Even Amanda changes the water cooler (lover her) I’m convinced 95% of the slackers are afraid they can’t lift it. The other 5% think it’s not on their job description.
“Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, oh what a relief it is….”
Men do have that time of the month or couple of months. I saw it on “The Dr’s” once. Something about the level of testosterone and some kind of balance or whatever the hell. But yes men do have periods where they are irritable and just a pain in the ass. I’ve already had mine recently..lol
MANopause, baby. MANOPAUSE!
Mmm! That was really just so HOT to read!!!
Yeah, when I was working with other people it got to be pretty obvious when I’d gotten some and when I didn’t.
They could always spot it too.
It’s a curse The Attorney put of whoever stole his shirt.
Wanting sex is a constant for me. Its like a ‘heat’ that builds up in my brain and if I don’t ‘release’ it, I get way aggressive. Glad to see I’m not the only one. heh heh.
How is the Attorney walking today?
The Attorney and the Lady Vols got drilled. Glad you are still “on the Summitt”.
Helen Keller? Wow Tony, you were ready for it. Damned lucky attorney!
Hot!
So true! When my partner and I watch the news we think we can tell if Anderson Cooper has gotten any or not.
If I had a partner, I’m not so sure how I’d feel about being described as his “Midol”. But considering the symptoms I’d be thrilled to be the cure.
I think it also has something to do with the change in seasons. Something about Springtime makes me randy as hell. Probably some primal genetic code or something. The other day, I literally had to bite my tongue whilst one of the painters was flirting with me at work. And then there’s that one electrician.
Oy! I’d never cheat, but I take a lot of cold showers.
Glad you’re feeling better! Yes, I would imagine that even Helen Keller could have seen that coming!
Pounding one out doesn’t help?
Where is a nice gay guy to find some midol these days? That is the million dollar question.
There’s a perfectly good explanation for springtime randy. The chiasm, which carries the nerves for our sight, passes right above the pituitary. The pituitary controls our hormones. This mainly serves to regulate estrus in animals. Animals cannot afford to get knocked up out of season because the babies will need to have food and relative safety. So there is a system for it. Remains of this system persist in animals who do not need a seasonal estrus (primates) or do not procreate (gay primates), and in animals who do not menstruate (male primates). So it’s the sunlight that does it. Daylight Saving Time also helps. Ten days of light and kaboom! ovaries pop, balls swell, and orifices are open for business.
I ran a commuter relationship with the husband for ten years, before we could live together, so I have an idea of what you were going through. In my case, however, I never hesitated to seek relief flying solo. Not the five times a day of my youth but a LOT. It’s so good that you two have each other.
My niece and I really enjoyed visiting on this site. I am always attempting to find somebody to make deals with but it’s only a thought I would ask.