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R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
This is going to make me sound like a crabby old fart, but what has happened to people treating each other with respect?
It’s everywhere, the disrespect.
Towards parents, towards bosses and co-workers, towards friends and neighbors, towards lovers.
I could apply this to thousands of things, but I’ll illustrate with a recent occurrence,
Last Saturday the Attorney gathered some folks at his pool. Me, a handful of his friends, and another couple who were friends of a friend. Late in the evening that couple pulled a trigger that blasted disrespect like buckshot, scattering wide enough to hit other guests, the host, his home, and each other.
The details of their argument aren’t important, but the two of them got into it something fierce. What started as a couple of snaps at each other went, in a flash, from zero to sixty and out and out screaming at each other across the pool and back yard. It wasn’t just high emotions, it was also just plain mean. The vicious attacks escalated and finally came to head when one guy made a threat1 to one day kill the other in his sleep.
I can’t begin to tell you how ugly the whole thing was. I’ve never seen two people treat each other like that. Especially in front of other people. And in someone else’s home. Particularly the home of someone they had not met until that day. The lack of respect was on every level and to everyone possible.
The Attorney was disgusted2 and hopping mad, but he held his anger together and in a very dignified manner diffused the situation and sent them on their way. 3 Unfortunately, the fight had buzz-killed the whole evening and everyone pretty much felt like it was probably the best time to head out.
The Attorney’s friend, Jeff, who had brought along the extra couple, stuck around to help us clean. He was embarrassed and very apologetic. The Attorney, who I could tell was still burning inside, simply and calmly said to Jeff, “I’m just going to have to ask that you not bring them by again.”
And that was it.
He didn’t labor the subject. He didn’t make Jeff feel bad. 4 Just like he had with the fighting couple, in spite of all that had happened, he showed Jeff respect.
And that’s why I love him. Well, one of the many reasons. But, it’s a big one.
He treats me with respect. He always has.
Sure, like any couple we have disagreements. We have arguments. Hell, we have fights.
Maybe it’s because of his training in law, but even when we don’t see eye-to-eye, he seems to always have respect for what I say and feel.
And for me.
That means everything to me.
And so does he.
A-T-T-O-R-N-E.5
{ fin }
- Which we are not entirely sure was just the alcohol talking. [↩]
- As we pretty much all were. [↩]
- The argument ignited partially from one of them being ready to leave anyway. [↩]
- Or Worse [↩]
- …Y [↩]
Misery. What shame. You need a bouncer at your gatherings.
Oh my gosh. I’m very glad I wasn’t there. what little boys won’t do. Zero to 60 is never fun.
One thing I cannot stand is when other couples fight! It even gets my goat if they are sniping at each other. And how rude and inconsiderate is it to do that at a party!!! If we meet a couple like that we cross them off our friends list lickety split. Summing up: I know what you mean!
I hate it when stuff like that happens, but it makes you aappreciate what you have more.
The more I read about the two of you the more I love both of you.
I have developed a firm belief that on of the hallmarks of a successful relationship is how well you treat each other when you are both upset. You are right T, it has everything to do with respect.
I think the attorney handled it w/more grace than I would have though. Good for him!
I hate the lack of civility that’s invaded every aspect of American society. Somehow I think it all started with insult “humor.” But whether it’s constant put-downs of all out blow-ups like the one by the pool, it’s become far more frequent and acceptable for people to treat each other badly. I think the Attorney did a great job of diffusing a bad situation.
It sounds like Jeff brought two bi-polars to the Attorney’s house. Little electrical storms going off in the brain…. If one of them was’t reigning the other one in, that’s what it sounds like to me.