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Twenty Ten

January 5th, 2010 § 25 comments

A buddy and I were wishing each other Happy New year the other day.  He said he was so glad to say goodbye to 2009 because it had bee such a rough year for him.  I told him I felt the same way.

About 370 days ago, I started this blog, the gentler offspring of my somewhat racier blog that had run its course a few months earlier.

I started up this one because I missed writing and wanted to offer more of myself than a plus-sized pecker.

Then I failed.  I ended up making only 46 posts the entire year.

I blamed it on 2009.

But, how can I do that?  The pages of a calendar are no more responsible for a year that I would love to forget any more than the turn of the page on January 1 would suddenly make everything better.

Sure, there are things that happen that are beyond my control, but it’s not those things that effect my happiness, it’s how I manage to deal with them.

Granny’s health and faculties are in serious decline, but I’m the one who let the increased responsibilities frustrate me.

It was me (and the Attorney) who let the limitations created by the realities of our relationship get to me.  Not a two, a couple or zeros, and a nine.

So, it’s me who has the power to make it better in Twenty Ten.

I think maybe, without realizing it, I took a big step toward that already.

The Attorney visited with Granny and me on New Year’s Eve.  He gave up an invitation to a fancy party for a pretty uneventful evening watching the countdown on TV with us.  Granny fell asleep in her chair long before midnight and the Attorney took the opportunity to lay his head in my lap and steal few moments of private affection.

I normally wouldn’t go for anything like that right under Granny’s nose,1 but there was a comfort there that was…well, comforting.

I wanted it to just be us.  If only for a few minutes, just us.

So, a few minutes before twelve, with Granny snoozing, he and I grabbed the bottle of champagne that the Attorney brought up, hopped into the truck and drove a little deeper into the mountains to a spot where we parked overlooking a ridge and waited for 2010 to arrive.

At the final tick, we toasted, drinking straight from the bottle, and steamed the windows with the year’s first kiss.

In all we were gone maybe half an hour and I honestly felt a little guilty about sneaking out on Granny.  But I also honestly felt happier than I had in a while.

Because I chose to make myself happy.

And that’s how it will go in 2010.

Happy 2010 to you, too.

{ fin }

  1. mostly out of respect []

§ 25 Responses to Twenty Ten"

  • Damien Oz says:

    Mazel Tov for you and your goals mate.

    What you are choosing to do is a good thing and I have no doubt you will achieve everything you hope for.

    You are a very smart man and a good person – irregardless of the plus sized pecker.

    Keep at it mate.

  • Richard says:

    We’re all responsible for our own happiness. Sometimes we forget how simple life really is.
    I’m glad your back.

  • Paul from Q says:

    and you do know it’s not that plus sized pecker that keeps us coming back.
    thanks and amen

  • Sue says:

    Happy New Year Tony! You are a very smart man and I know you will do your best at everything for you, Granny, and the attorney. It is a lot to juggle, but you have those big hands, and you can handle it. [No pressure there, huh?]

  • john says:

    Happy New Year Tony,
    It would be nice to read more posts, but it’s worth the wait for the gems when they do come.

  • irisgirl says:

    Happy 2010, Tony!
    This post really touched me, as I, too, have been struggling with the “simple” yet challenging goal of trying to control my own happiness in the face of some very adverse circumstances. It is tough, and I wish us both success with it!

  • rayrayj says:

    If you could see how big my smile is right now… I wish you, Granny and the Attorney, the best of everything in the coming year(s). I think for many of us it’s a daily struggle to maximize the positives in our lives and to keep the negatives in perspective. I’m so pleased for you that you are doing that.

  • Mark says:

    What they said. And a happy new year to you ,granny, and the attorney

  • Marc in Palm Springs says:

    Your connections are deep and strong and they appear to be enduring. Your love for Granny and the Attorney are apparent, and now your love of self is coming through. Everything in due time. Giving of your heart makes life so worth living.

    The best to you, Granny, and your loving Attorney.

  • moby says:

    I’m wishing you a very prosperous and happy 2010!

  • Blobby says:

    Happy New Year to you Tony.

    I wouldn’t worry about the amount you post. It’s not about how big, it’s how well those posts are written – and you always have that covered.

  • Bob says:

    Your New Year evening sounds just wonderful and you never “failed” all 46 posts were welcome and worth waiting for gifts. Thanks for them all.

  • Greg says:

    No failure here, my friend. I’m glad you enjoyed that sweet celebration – all blessings to you and yours in this brave new year!

  • Brenton says:

    Hey Tony,
    Happy New Year to you and the attorney. I’ve had to make a similar decision. My year wasn’t as rough as yours but those around me have had an awful 2009.
    Over at Aussielicious we are focussing on “Mining the clouds”. No matter what happens we are looking for the silver lining in every dark cloud.
    Big hugs for 2010

    b x

  • brian says:

    Thank you Tony for your 2010 wishes. Remember to shoot for the moon. and if you fall short, you still land among the stars!

  • David says:

    Wonderful! I think your new year’s night was stupendous. And I know the Attorney was more than thrilled to spend it the way he did. I had a great one too. Rick fell asleep before midnight, I put on some candles and watched Julie & Julia with the very endearing sleep of Rick right next to me. It was a home and it wasn’t perfect, but it was beautiful.

    God Bless Granny.

  • Rick says:

    Happy new year to you! I was fast asleep, like Grandma, prior to midnight. Guess I’m getting too old for this stuff.

  • Alan says:

    Tony – Despite your ample God-given gifts, I’ve always considered you and your words a matter of quality over quantity. You could write one post for an entire year, and it would still be ten times better than any number of daily posters out there. I’m just grateful that you’re here. How often and how much you put in is entirely up to you.

  • Chris says:

    Happy New Year to you! Life is a bit of a struggle every now and then but always remember to steal away a little time for yourself every day.

  • Frank says:

    Amen. Happy New Year.

  • James says:

    Hi Tony,

    So often I’ve wanted to comment, but have instead chosen to remain a silent observer.

    I’ve been reading your blog for while, in fact, I now come to realise since not long after it’s inception. I never knew you had another one previously.

    Words can sometimes be the greatest gifts we can share with one another, and your words have truly been a gift. It broke my heart to read the words “I failed” as you have a striking ability to use those words to celebrate life and the human spirit in a way that is so open, so profound, so delightful and so ultimately uplifting – to claim failure could not be further from the truth.

    Thank You, Tony, for sharing when you do – I’m sorry I don’t do the same more often in response.

    Sincerely I wish you the absolute best of good fortune for the future.

  • Kerry in Phoenix says:

    What a lovely New Year’s Eve you had– it says a lot about you and the Attorney. Yes, 2009 was not the best year for so many of us, but I have hope for 2010. If not for hope, we might as well give up now. You’ll make it through it all, my friend. Just think of all you have been through already.

    A huge hug (although I would have to stand on my tiptoes or a stepladder)!!!

  • Jay says:

    I’m glad to hear that you’re taking charge of what you can. But always remember that you should ask for help when you need it. People are here to help each other. Don’t shoulder anything alone that you don’t have to. If you need to take care of Granny but the blinds need cleaning, ask someone to come help. Stuff like that. Honestly, it’s okay to ask and if they’re real friends, you’re not being a burden.

    Yay for happiness, but don’t do it so much that it winds up hurting others. I hope the best for you in 2010.

  • Will says:

    Health, Love and happiness to you in 2010!

    I sometimes tell friends whose burdens are too heavy to remember what they say on planes if the oxygen masks drop: put your own mask on first, THEN you’ll be able to help others. Seems you’ve decided to do that in your own situation and in your own way. Happiness is a deep human need and you deserve every bit you can get. Best wishes to you, the Attorney and to Granny.

  • Tom says:

    Tony,,,the 46 posts were all the sweeter for the anticipation. Although you have worried me. And you also make me cry. I love Granny.

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