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The Phyllises threatened to pinch me for not wearing green.
Luckily for me and for them, they were just playing.
I guess I should have been honoring the Scots-Irish side of my heritage on St. Patrick’s Day, but I hardly ever wear green. I can’t even think of any green clothing I have off the top of my head. Everything that comes to mind is mostly blue1 with maybe a green accent.
Green just is not a good color for me.
I don’t like when I’m wearing it.
Literally and figuratively.
Over the weekend, The Attorney and I went to a bar. It’s not something we do very often. Ironically, a bar is where we met for the very first time.
Anyway, we were there, hanging on the sidelines, drinking beer and people watching. At one point when I was getting us another round, a guy took an opportunity to introduce himself to The Attorney.
Now, this wasn’t much of a surprise to me. The Attorney, in my opinion anyway, is a stud. No doubt he turns a lot of fellas’ heads.
And there was really nothing for me to concern myself with because by the time I had returned, the Attorney had pointed me out as his partner. Still, the sight of another guy sniffing around him got my hackles up a bit. I was starting to wear a bit of green.
As much as I try to be a good guy, and as much as I feel like I generally succeed, if I have one flaw, I have to admit that I can have a bit of a possessive/jealous streak.
It’s not something I am proud of, but it’s something that I will own.
The guy asked us to dance. First individually. Then after we had both declined, he asked us to dance together with him. He said that he thought it would be hot to dance between two men as tall as we are.
I got the sense he was talking about more than dancing on the floor. Like dancing between the sheets.
Later, on the way home, I asked the Attorney if he got the same vibe.
“Maybe a little,” he said.
So, I asked him if the opportunity ever came up, would he want to do something like that?
He thought for a moment. “Only if you were into it. Would you?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
And then the car fell silent.
Here’s the thing with me and three-ways: I could handle it if I was not partnered with anyone else in the triangle. But if I have pissed in one of the other corners, I can’t stand the thought of another dog in there.
Part of it is my feelings about monogamy. Even though both partners are involved in the play, it doesn’t feel truly monogamous to me.
And I believe in the idea of monogamy.
I realize it’s sort of irrational2 to hold a non-traditional relationship like banging boner-to-boner to a traditional standard, but I want to give and get that level of commitment out of someone.
But my main struggle with dancing three-to-the-beat is my jealousy. Even though I would be there for every moment of it, and ground rules were laid out, I just don’t think I could commit to approval. If I saw a man with his hands on The Attorney, about the only thing I could definitely commit is murder.
OK. I exaggerate. But you get my point.
I feel completely confident that he would not go off on his own with someone else. And he even said that the three-way is only of interest to him if it was something I wanted.
Rationally, I know that it’s all about my insecurities. But, who is always rational?
Apparently The Attorney is. I guess it’s part of being an attorney.
Still, part of me wants him to be a just a little bit irrational and jealous like I am.
It would both ease my insecurities and put a little dent in his can of peaches.
But then, I hate him in green.
{ fin }
A little jealousy can be a good thing as it serves as a signal of possession or ownership. Having the Alpha dog mentality, it doesn’t surprise me you were jealous and even wanted him to be a little jealous. I think that is perfectly natural.
The flip side is he may not feel jealous because he never felt threatened by the other guys behavior. The attorney strikes me as someone who knows what he wants and YOU are clearly it. We all like to flirt and be desired. That doesn’t end when we pair off with someone so take it in stride. Be proud that not only does your man turn heads but he goes home and turn your “head” every time. hehehe
As for insecurity, we all have’em. That said, I honestly don’t see you as insecure enough to worry someone could steal him from you. You’ve struggled together and survived as a couple and I predict will continue to do so.
First off, being Scot is not being Irish, so you’re under zero obligation to wear green.
Second, I totally agree with the 3-way thing when it is partner related. Someone is bound to get (or give) more attention than the other and it makes for a bad dynamic….um…..I’ve heard.
Hmm. I would be into a 3-way with 2 guys [since I am not into women], but I can’t forsee it happening now that I am married. I guess that if it was a guy I were dating, he would have to be bi. I dated a bi guy in college, but we never did the deed. At least he taught me to dance. I have to agree with you, if I did a 3-way, I would prefer to have the 2 guys be ones I wasn’t dating.
No worries. Having worked where I do for the past 12 years, I now know how to dispose of a body so that it is never found if the need arises.
I too have a problem with jealousy. I think it is something we learn from our parents. But as I’ve been told by my partner, “Jealousy is a waste of energy, because people are going to do, what they want to do!”. Does that mean he cheated? I don’t know, don’t care. He’s been here and we’re starting our 16th year, so something must be right.
I also agree with Moby. You and the attorney have been through a lot and you’re still together. So life is good for you.
But if you do need to ‘um, dispose of some garbage? Give me a call!
.
I can understand the jealously part. I think it’s perfectly natural in this situation. This will be a constant situation when a couple goes out. Specially to a club.
I could really get up on my moral high-horse about 3ways amongst couples. Plus, that of single gay men who have no respect for peoples partnerships. Actually I can be quite rude to couples who ask me online to join them in a 3way. Mutual agreement of it being open to that sort of thing or not. I don’t consider you actually a couple if you have spent the majority length of your relationship having 3-ways with other guys. Just two fuck buddies that just live together.
Some of us have a hard enough time as it is finding our own boyfriend, why the fuck would I want to share theirs. I don’t condone open relationships and I won’t help them by being apart of it.
I am on the same page as Tony and Todd. Luckily, I have a like-minded partner of 15 years that feels the same way. For me, monogamy takes the relationship to a much higher, almost spiritual level. There is something about that level of commitment and staying true to it that makes it all the more cherished.
While that works for us, I do understand it doesn’t work for everyone.
Get that green eyed monster and the one eyed monster on the same page and you’ll live happily ever after. It’s possible and it’s enchanting.
I can rock green very easily. Bright green, dark green you name it. The shades tending mid green to dark green are best though. It brings out the green in my hazel eyes which trend more green anyhow.
No the jealousy thing, I have a strong streak myself. I tell Keyron that anyone follows him home, they get greeted by Mr. Mossberg.
I am one him thinks jealousy is a good thing. It shows you care.
Stay away from threesomes. Your instinct’s a good one.
I am strange and single. Like Todd, I respect the sanctity of a relationship. If the number is >3 I’m in!
Those are difficult places to find ourselves. And even more weird to chat with one another about. I must admit, that I am so secure in my relationship with LoverBoy, that I wouldn’t mind a three-way. I’m just not a jealous person. I love sharing. I love excitement. And I know that no matter who either of us gives a peck on the cheek to during the daytime hours, we are going to be sleeping together — happily — that night. Every night.
I don’t seem to possess the jealousy gene. I mean, I have been jealous in my life. I can empathize & picture it. I just don’t do it. Never have.
My husband & I were exclusive for the first 25 years & now we have the occassional 3way or another couple & I find it very erotic to see my man withanother guy.
He thought for a moment. “Only if you were into it. Would you?” “No.” “Oh.” And then the car fell silent.
Some questions are sometimes best left unasked unless you are certain of the answer.