Twitter
Facebook
Subscribe
This could potentially have been a post involving Jake, Hugh, and myself…but I don’t consider that a three-way as much as a one-man gang bang.1
I got called out on Twitter by Brenton at Aussielicious2 for not keeping up with my 30+Day Challenge after only seven days. So, in response, I’m offering up a three-way:
Three Challenge posts in one.
Day 8- Something You Are Afraid Of:
This one is easy, because I’m really not that afraid of much. It’s not that I’m some bad-ass or something. It’s just that a lot f things you hear generally hear people being afraid of3 don’t bother me. So, it’ll be probably be surprising to hear that my main phobia is Equinophobia.4
The fear of horses.
Seriously.
It’s not a fear of riding horses. I would never get close enough to one to find that out.
The sight of a horse doesn’t bother me. And I don’t have nightmares5 about them.
But, I’m really uneasy standing next to one.
I always feel like I’m going to get bitten or kicked in the head.
Which are my main fears when it comes to horses.
So, maybe my phobia is something more specific.
Like Equinochompaphobia6: the fear of being bitten by a horse.
Or Equinorockettephobia7: The fear of getting high-kicked by a team of horses.
Day 9- Favorite TV Shows
Just like my choices in movies, I tend to go sort of old-school with TV.
My favorite of all shows in TV history is also one of the oldest:
- I Love Lucy
My feelings about it are in the title. I have seen all the episodes a million times. I always know what’s going to happen. I can’t recite8 a lot of the lines. But it still always makes me laugh. Even as hokey and impossible9 as some of the things that happen are, you totally believe it while you watch it. Even more than 50 years later. And they had a two-part episode set in Tennessee. Can’t be that. - The Andy Griffith Show
How can I not love a show that helped inspire the title of the blog? I like the way it gave humor to living in a small town and living in the South without making everybody a buffoon like The Beverly Hillbillies ( (which I have to admit has it’s own charms)) The show, like a lot of TV, was at it’s best in the earliest seasons. Oddly the show lost it’s vibrancy when they shifted from black and white to color. It became flat and dull. It was almost like the color-coating covered up everything that was great. - Cheers
This is a show I was able to watch as it was first being aired. It’s also one of the few shows that I think got better in it’s later years. When I see reruns now, it’s the later episodes I like the best. Maybe because those are the ones from around the time I was in high school10, and it was probably my favorite show at the time. - The Sopranos and Oz
These are about the only dramas that I ever really really got into. They never seemed to have the self-importance that so many TV dramas do. They were riveting and gripping without telling you they were. And Oz had lots of naked Christopher Meloni(NSFW). I gave up my HBO subscription after they both went off the air. - Modern Family
This is my current favorite, and the first time I have bought a season DVD of a show still on the air. Looking back at this list, it seems like I like shows that, even if they have a star, it’s the group dynamic of the whole cast that really makes the show work. This show is the King when it comes to that. Even the kids on the show are good. They are real people like the adults. The best thing about this show is that it always ends with a nice message about the family dynamic without being heavy-handed or even the least bit preachy. They really sneak it up on you. If you don’t watch it, do.
Day 10-Something You Don’t Leave The House Without
I guess this means something that you always have with you.
The easiest answer is my wallet. I’m just not somebody who comes with a lot of accessories.
But more specifically, there are two things I always have in my wallet:
A rubber and a dollar bill.
Both are habits held over from when I was teenager.
I remember hearing my father tell my brother to always have at least one dollar in your pocket, so that if you ever get stopped by the law you can’t get arrested for vagrancy.
I don’t remember him ever saying it to me. But, I was younger and he probably never thought of me as the type to get in trouble like that.
Which I think on some level that was disappointing to him. Not disappointing that I never was in trouble with the police. Just that I wasn’t enough of a hell-raiser for it to be a possibility.
The rubber, of course, came from being on the ready if a good fuck was to come along. Initially it was a way to keep from being a daddy who couldn’t even vote yet11. Then it became about to be a shield from disease, and infections. But, since I have not been in anybody but the Attorney in the last five years, I guess it’s just habit. I don’t need to be on the ready anymore. If a good fuck comes my way, I know where it’s coming from, and where he keeps the rubbers.
Yes, even after all this time, we still use them. I can’t even explain why. Maybe it’s my irrational germaphobe tendencies coming out. Maybe it’s because we both get a bit of a charge out of the ritual of putting on the armor12 Maybe it’s just that we never stopped.
Dollars, rubbers, or rituals..old habits die hard.
{ fin }
- It’s the gang that gets banged in this case. [↩]
- Are there any unattractive men in Australia? [↩]
- heights, spiders, blood, etc. [↩]
- I looked it up. [↩]
- No pun intended, but I love it anyway. [↩]
- I made up the name [↩]
- Made up this one, too [↩]
- or at least remember [↩]
- a loaf of bread coming out of the oven and stretching across the kitchen. [↩]
- and therefore old enough to enjoy [↩]
- Something else my brother was more prone to do. [↩]
- He’s the valet. [↩]
Tony great post as usual. Thanks Brenton for calling Tony out.
Fear of horses? Allegedly they see us as 12x our size, which is why they “let us” ride them. Not sure if this is true and I’m too lazy to look it up.
I guess you wouldn’t like holding out a sugar cube or carrot for them to eat out of your hand.
Maybe horses are like cows, which if you hold your arms out, perceive you as much bigger.
I dont like horses, they seem skinny, highly strung and unpredictable, but then I’m used to cows.
Horses? OK
Chris Meloni? For sure!
A buck and a condom? Truly Old School!
Let the Pedant-in-Chief strike again!
I know you looked it up, but “Equinophobia” is not a properly concocted word. Those who coined it should have known that it is imperative not to mix Greek and Latin in a neologism (look it up) if at all possible. The word therefore is hippophobia. By the same measure, fear of getting bitten by a horse would be hippodaknophobia and fear of getting kicked by one is hippolaktophobia (with a k, not with a c, which would turn it into fear of mare’s milk, and violate Rule #1 too). Furthermore an equine is not an equus, a horse: equines include donkeys, mules, zebras and others as well. In conclusion, the term “equinophobia” is both grammatically and substantively wrong, and this concludes today’s lesson by the Church Lady, PhD. 
I was wondering what was going on with the challenge.
I have an unusual fright too. One thing I’m truly afraid of is choking to death. I think it stems from when I choked on a chicken bone in a reastaurant when I was 11….my parents tried and tried, but the bone wasn’t coming out. It did eventually, but I didn’t eat for a week. It might be good if I gave up chicken and cheese because those are the two big culprits.
These daily (almost) posts are brilliant – Viva la Daily Challenge!
Agree with horses, always worried they’ll run amok. Though for a while I was also scared every stray dog would try to bite me.
Oz was great, but I stopped watching when in the later seasons they started showing stuff like a chopped off hand of a small child appearing in the mail, yikes!