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Nothing Borrowed or Blue

30+ Day Challenge, Part 20 – Your Dream Wedding

My Dream Wedding would be any wedding I don’t have to attend.

I have been to weddings.  I was even the best man at a wedding a few years ago.

But, I hate them.

I’d rather gnaw off my left nut than go to a wedding.

So, I definitely don’t dream of a wedding of my own.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not anti-marriage.

I’m anti-wedding.

Weddings just cause everyone involved to get all spun up and stressed out for weeks, or even months, leading up to the event.  Not to mention draining their bank accounts for months, or even years, to follow.

Anxious and broke.  What a way to start a life together.

Plus, I just don’t see the point in making your friends get all dressed up and then force them to watch you tell somebody you love him/her.

It’s just PDA1, but with a toast and presents.

As much of an exhibitionist that I can be, I’m really not the PDA type.2

Neither is The Attorney.  The closest we get to PDA is a shoulder bump thing that we do.

He probably is a bit more of the wedding type than I am.  So, if the day came that he would want some kind of ceremony, I would go along with it, of course.

But, I dream3 that it would be something very simple and private.

No flowers.  No toasts.  No several hundred dollar cake. 4

Nothing borrowed.  Nothing blue.

Just an agreement to continue to treat each other in a way that got us there in the first place.

And maybe some cake.  That doesn’t cost much.

{ fin }

  1. Public Display of Affection []
  2. I’m probably more PDE: Public Display of Erection []
  3. and pray []
  4. Give me $25 and I can make you a cake from an empty pantry that will make you cream your underpants. []
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  1. StevieB StevieB

    We have that shoulder bump at the gym.

  2. Weddings don’t have to be elaborate or anything. You read about mine: 3 days of planning; 3 people in attendance, including me and the other groom (but not including the photog and the officiant) and lunch.

    Simple. Barely planned. But meaningful. ….but no cake (which I’m still sore about).

  3. brian brian

    No toast?
    No Champagne?

  4. rayrayj rayrayj

    Let me know where and when to have the Best-Damn-Red-Velvet-Cake in the Southeast delivered and you will have cake. Of course it does not have to be Red Velvet…

    If I ever do the wedding thing, I want devil’s food .

  5. irisgirl irisgirl

    One of the best weddings I ever attended was in Iowa–a pig roast, a keg and vollyball in the backyard–totally mellow!

  6. Think I would be the opposite 🙂 Have a feeling I’d turn out to be a crazed Bridezilla! Probably would plan it right down to the colour of the tablecloths and the centerpieces!

  7. Sue Sue

    Boy I sure didn’t want all the hoopla of a big wedding! I had no big white dress, I wore a simple dress. There were no photographers, no cake, no flowers. There was booze [of course!] and plenty of food [from a mom & mom shop in town] and friends. We hired a jazz quartet because we like jazz and knew the people. We held the ceremony in the backyard of the cute Victorian Town Hall in the small Upstate New York town we lived in at the time and held the reception party in our 1800’s Greek-revival house that we lived in [which was only a short walk through town]. There were 12 guests at the actual wedding and 30 at the reception. The whole deal set us back less than $1000.

    It was the way to go and it has lasted what will be 26 years this June. We are very happy together. I wish you two the same.

  8. mikey mikey

    To escape the NYC summer heat, my partner of 20+years and I used to escape to Cape Cod …

    Our summer tradition was to stop in Mystic, CT at a roadside stand that overlooks Mystic Harbor. Best lobster rolls ever. On that beautiful summer day, half-joking, we said “hey, it’s now legal to marry in MA, we should get married.” And that was it!

    We went to the white clapboard Chatham town hall to get the license, picked out two cheap silver rings from a local tourist trap, and 3 “waiting period” days later, we got married, in Bermuda shorts and blazers, by a justice of the peace, overlooking the ocean. 3 friends joined us, and then we went out for a quiet, if festive, dinner.

    You’ve got it right. There was nothing borrowed and nothing blue (except our blazers.) However, there was a lot of love. And that’s really what it is all about, I think.

    (PS – of course, telling my Mom we’d “eloped” was a different story, but we did get some great wedding “loot” was once word leaked out!)

  9. California Alex California Alex

    You could wear a stocking garter on your willie.

  10. brian brian

    love the comment about the cake that would make you cream your underpants. i have a degree in pastry and baking, but am working making deli salads, so always great to hear about other people making fierce desserts. -b

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