header image

Yesterday, Today, and Forever

March 31st, 2011 § 31 comments § permalink

Certain birthdays throughout our lives are considered to be significant.

Like the first, the thirteenth, eighteenth, and twenty-first.

After that the leaps get a little bigger: twenty-five, forty, fifty, seventy-five.

But, once you hit ninety1, I think all of them become significant.

For her 90th, a few years ago, I put together a little luncheon for Granny and a couple of her girlfriends.

She has now out-lived them, and we haven’t had an official celebration since.

Four significant years later, I felt like it was time again.

Granny has become self-conscious about her physical limitations and appearance and gotten so that she doesn’t like anybody outside of a close circle of people to see her.

So, I gathered a group of folks she wouldn’t feel the need to “put on the debutante” for, to celebrate her 94th.

We finished up the celebration dinner just a little while ago.  But I wanted to write down my thoughts while they were still fresh.

It was me and The Attorney, of course.  Plus, my friend since high school, “J” and his wife.  And Granny’s nurse’s aide, Sam, who brought along his girlfriend.2

We kept pretty simple.  I roasted a couple of chickens.  The Attorney brought the wine.  “J” brought along Granny’s old pal Jo Ann.  His wife and Sam’s girl helped Granny pick out a nice dress and fussed over her hair.  Then Sam “escorted” her to the party.

I looked around the table at one point and was struck by the diversity of our little group.   My Granny or not, it can’t be denied that there is something remarkable about a woman whose birthday celebration can bring together a collection of folks that include two gay men, an Asian-American (Sam) and an African-American woman (his girlfriend), and garden variety heterosexual white folks (“J” and his wife).3

If not remarkable, certainly somebody special.

After dinner, but before the pound cake4, cards and thoughtful little gifts were opened.

The most thoughtful, and the one that seemed to touch Granny the most was from The Attorney: a delicate silver pendant necklace with three small inter-locking rings that represent memories – Yesterday, Today, and Forever.

She just stared at it for a moment.  I could tell her emotions were getting the best of her and she was trying to hold it together.  And she did until, because of her failing dexterity, The Attorney opened the clasp for her and placed it around her neck.

Standing behind her, he put his hands on her shoulders.  She reached up and took what she could of his hand in one of her small ones.  Then she held on while the flood gates opened.5

I don’t think I have ever been more proud to have The Attorney in my life than at the moment.  I thought to myself, “Hold on to him, Granny.  Hold on.”  I know I’m going to.

As hard as I can.

Yesterday, Today, and Forever.

{ fin }

  1. if you are lucky. []
  2. What a waste of a beautiful bubble butt. []
  3. and range in age from 20′s to 50′s. []
  4. A birthday tradition in our family []
  5. Pretty much around the table. []

Moment of Trust

March 24th, 2011 § 14 comments § permalink

When does Trust begin?

In relationships, that is.

I was talking to friend about it a few days ago.

Well, the conversation was about something else, but Trust was at the core.

He said that he couldn’t go into a relationship  without trust.

My feeling is that  you could go into it without, but you need the trust to stay.

Most of the time, at first you don’t know enough about someone to have anything you can hang your Trust on.

You can probably trust that he isn’t going to rob you or store pieces of you in the basement freezer.  But, even then, can you really be 100% sure?

Maybe, in a sense, my buddy and I are both right.

Going into a relationship is a bit of a faith-based endeavor. There is chemistry, but that is pretty much where the science ends.

At least for a while.

Whatever trust there is in the beginning, it’s blind.

As time goes on, you learn.  Blind trust gives over to learned trust.

You learn that maybe he really does walk on water.  Or you learn that he can’t turn that water to wine.1

So, you learn to trust him, or to not.

If you don’t trust, then it’s easy to know when to cut bait and run.

But if you do, how do you know you trust enough to stay?

I don’t think you can.

Because no matter how much you trust, to continue on will still require some level of faith.

Especially if you expect the relationship to be healthy.

So, you stay until there’s a reason to leave.

Actually, I take that back. A relationship is too important to give up that easy.

You stay until there’s no reason to stay.

That’s a very different thing.

Trust.

{ fin }

  1. No matter how much you tell everyone he  can. []

Spending Daylight Saving Time

March 17th, 2011 § 15 comments § permalink

Mimosas.

Something about the combination of lusty citrus and sensual fizz makes mimosas very sexy to me.

And I love them.

Like sex, I could have them all day.  But, also like sex, there comes a point where you body tells you that you’ve had too much.

The Attorney arrived at the house on Sunday with two cartons of orange juice and two bottles of champagne.

If there is anything fancy about me, it’s that I enjoy champagne.  I especially enjoy mimosas.  So does the Attorney.  So does Granny.

So we spent Sunday afternoon sitting on the front porch drinking mimosas and eating vanilla wafers.1

It was a gorgeous day.  Sunny and in the 70′s with blooms and buds just starting to burst all around us. A great way of spending our first day of Daylight Savings.

It was intoxicating.

And we got drunk.

On mimosas.

Me, the Attorney, and Granny.

Not falling down or sloppy drunk.

But definitely tipsy.

And sleepy.

Whether it was from the mimosas of from the clock springing forward the night before,  all three of us were ready for naps.

Granny shuffled inside to her recliner and she was out before The Attorney and I could wash up the glasses and seal what was left of the cookies.

He and I went upstairs for a quick one.

Nap, that is.

The Attorney is generally a back sleeper. I tend to sleep on my side.  It’s great when we are together because I generally throw one leg over his and wrap my arm across his chest.

But, I had some back trouble for a few days that made it painful to sink into the mattress on my side.

So we both laid there staring at the ceiling.  Like two teenagers afraid to touch each other.2

Eventually, he took my usual role and rolled onto his side.   Just as was going in for a kiss, he had a kick-back from the champagne and burped in my face.

Nothing ruins a moment like a warmer than room temperature blast of stale champagne and leftover cheap cookies.

“Sorry,” he said, giggling.

“No, you’re not.”

“Maybe,” he joked.  “But you still love me, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

He tucked his face into the crook of my neck and shoulder.  “You’d better.”

He fell asleep pretty fast, even on his side.   It took me a little longer.

I think i was trying to hold on to that moment of time.

Daylights like that are worth saving.

{ fin }

  1. Had to take the fancy edge off somehow. []
  2. Or two bottoms waiting for somebody to make the first move. []

Listen To The Mockingbird

March 1st, 2011 § 15 comments § permalink

30+ Day Challenge, parts 25/26 – Favorite Book / Favorite Quote

It turns out that my favorite quote comes from my favorite book, so with this challenge I can kill two birds with one stone.

As long as they are not mockingbirds. That would be a sin.

So my favorite book, “To Kill A Mockingbird” tells us.

It has been my favorite book since I first read it when I was a teenager.  All these years I still have  not seen the movie, except catching snatches of it here and there on TV.  Still, it is a book whose words struck me so deep that it has effected how I lead my life.

It’s a book about responsibility, equality, dignity, and respect.  Things that should be very important to us all.1

I won’t go on and on about it because I have talked about these things before.

But how anyone can read that book and not take a hard look at the own behavior, even the little things in life, is beyond me.  You could learn as much about human decency from “To Kill A Mockingbird” as people think the should from The Bible.

As far as my favorite quote, it’s not the famous one about why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.2

I think there’s just one kind of folks –Folks.

That’s my favorite quote.

Because it’s true.

Unfortunately too many folks don’t listen to the Mockingbird.

{ fin }

  1. I gave The Attorney a 50th Anniversary edition for his 50th birthday last year. []
  2. Because are not destructive or thieving like other birds.  They just go about their business singing their song and don’t bring harm to anyone or anything. []

Where am I?

You are currently viewing the archives for March, 2011 at West of Mayberry.