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If somebody was to ask me if I was a lonely person, I’d say no.
I’ve always been a loner by nature.
Even though I grew up with a brother, I mostly lived life like an only child.
And I was always content.
Still am.
But sometimes do feel a certain loneliness.
What’s strange is that I feel it more often now than I used to when I was single.
The longer The Attorney and I have been keeping company1, the more I experience little pangs of loneliness.
I guess the more time we have behind us, the more time I want to have together ahead of us.
We’re having one of our first pleasant summer nights2 here in East Tennessee tonight, after a fairly lengthy hot spell. So, I was out back enjoying some quiet time under the moon and stars.
I was wishing The Attorney was here, too. I’ve always thought of star patterns as being like some sort of jeweled Rorschach Test. Even if you know the constellations, everybody has their own impression of what they are seeing up there. I wanted to share what we each see up in the sky.
But, he was at home. An hour and half away.
So, I couldn’t.
And that made me feel a little lonely.
We’re not so far apart that we don’t see the same sky. So, I could have called him up and we could have shared our star blots over the phone.
But, we’d already had our nightly “sweet dreams” chat a couple of hours earlier.
So, I knew he was tucked away, snug-as-a-bug, in his bed, with probably too much sand in his eyes to gaze at the stars.
That made me feel a little more lonely.
So, I called it a night and made my way to my own bed.
I wrapped my arm around the pillow that wasn’t him and waited for slumber to arrive.
It didn’t.
It was as out of reach as The Attorney.
That made me feel the loneliest of all.
{ fin }
Chin up mister.
I hope the sandman eventually paid you a visit and you were able join the Attorney in dreamland.
I’ve done a relationship long distance, too.
In the end, Tony, it gets down to this. Will you be satisfied with familiarity, rather than intimacy?
Each member of a couple maintains his or her own life. That’s what they bring to the relationship, and they enrich each other.
But on top of that, they build something else. A thing called our life.
It is the quality of the life my husband and I build together, from scratch, that tests our love.
That’s tough to build if you’re apart. The pangs won’t stop until you fix that.
Until then, it will be you looking at the sky, and him looking at the sky. It’s the same sky, but not the same earth.
Have you been ‘keeping company’ for four years?
Time does fly.
You are right,remember you share the same sky.
Sleeplessness for me leads to…well you know.
It does help sleep!
I hope that the sandman did eventually let you and the attorney, join each other in your dreams. But until then I hope your body responded, and allowed to you make love with him in those dreams. Long distance relationships are hard, but it sounds like you two have something special, something worth preserving. Don’t lose it.
Whoa. When I feel that pull leading into that type of lonliness; I pull up and away like a pilot. I don’t have to stones to handle that depth. I scramble and distract myself(delude). Run it off, run it off.
I can relate to that. When you have someone you know you could be with and that you have been with, but you can’t be with them at times you would like. One does feel lonely.
Seems natural to long for things that you don’t have, but try to look at what you do have and this should put things into perspective.
Tony –
First I couldn’t agree more with the Honourable Husband; I was in a long distance relationship and it was hard. Perhaps the Attorney has these same pangs of loneliness…
I only see Happiness & Love for both of you, so as they say “where there’s a will, there’s a way”
You have a very nice relationship.
We miss the ones we love. We miss them when they are distant. We miss them when they are gone home to be with those that have gone on before. Love is doubled edged but love is better, more joyful than any moment of its absence. To be aware of the separation is in fact the most intense reminder that we love. That feeling is the purest representation of the connection we have with those we cherish. That is not sadness or longing in your bones. It is the recognition that you have a partner in life and in love. Miles away maybe but just as easily across the room.
We all get a bit lonely from time to time. Hope you’re feeling better now.
Aww. You’re such a softy.
Btw, happy belated birthday bro 
I grew up in a family of seven siblings, but also was essentially a loner. I like and enjoy company, but I feel very comfortable being alone. I think this is rare though, as I see many of my single friends suffering in their loneliness. Sometimes I feel like the lucky one.
Been quiet for a month now…… kind of scarey….. hope you, the attorney and granny are ok…..
Hope you, Granny & the Attorney are surviving this Summer, and anxiously await your next bit of writing