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Ssssh. He’s sleeping.
About the only sound is coming from the clickity-tap on the keyboard.
And occasionally from his breathing.
It’s almost three AM and I am sitting in bed with my lap top and The Attorney.
He’s staying over the long weekend.
And we’re breaking the rules.
The other day, out of courtesy, I asked Granny if she minded if The Attorney spent the weekend with us.
Even though I pay all the bills and take care of everything, it still is her house, after all. Plus, in the last few years, she has gotten real fussy1 about having people around.
Thankfully I caught her in good spirits and she was all about The Attorney being here.
But, she asked me which room I was going to put him in.
“I am happy to have him here, but I would prefer you two not be in the same room,” she said, matter of fact.
WTF?
“And it’s not because you’re that way,”2 she explained. “It’s because you’re not married. That wouldn’t be right.”
I’m still trying to decide whether she really was really having a contradiction in her old-fashioned values or if she was pulling my leg.
Either way, I didn’t put The Attorney in my room.
I put him in the bigger bedroom.
If we’re going to break the house rules, we may as well be comfortable.
{ fin }
So marry him.
What a wonderful vignette. Thanks for the words, Tony. Enjoy that comfy bed, but keep the noise down.
In “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action”, Audre Lorde wrote, “I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect….”.
She could have written ‘profits us’…
I think your posts are so generous, I just wanted to say Thank You.
John
I agree with Bosguy; you could always marry him. But you probably won’t until it is legal in your state. But wouldn’t it be nice to do it while your granny is still alive?
Now you have finally joined the huge ranks of people who have broken the house rules! LOL! Welcome Brother! Glad to have you!
I agree with Rob [BosGuy] and Sue. And you didn’t break the rules, you bended them. He didn’t stay in your room, you moved together to another!
“same room”
“my room”
“bigger bedroom”
The house “rules” as a verb not as a noun.
I’m so glad that Keyron’s mom has no such proscriptions in place. When we visit we sleep in the same room.
But I think it’s extremely interesting that your grandmother seems to get it that you two should be married.
That’s sweet! She’s treating you like a straight, unmarried couple. Gotta love old people, especially when they make the jump in thinking into the 21st century.
Your Granny sounds sooooo sweet… I need to get down to TN and meet you guys… yall sound so nice.
Your Granny sounds like a real sweetheart, you’re very lucky to have her! And she is lucky to have you:)
Bless her, she is set in her ways. I would not be surprised if it wasn’t because you are Gay but because you are not married.
I noticed people telling you should marry the Attorney, is that even something you want to do?
From my perspective, rules are made to be broken.
Granny’s argument makes sense to any straight couple. Why should it not apply to you as well?
Besides, doing something illicite makes some things more exciting.
Granny’s is awesome! She’s giving you her permission/blessing to make your relationship with The Attorney legal. But until then, in her eyes, you should be sleeping in separate sleeping quarters! After all she waited. Those are her ‘house rules’ and you, sir, are breaking them … I hope your were tiptoeing when you snuck into the big bedroom we wouldn’t want you disappointing Granny!
That’s so sweet
Granny understands and is ok with you ‘being that way’, but she’s still old school enough to want you to sleep separately – ya right, like straight people supposedly do 
I’m wondering* …
I’m wondering if you and the Attorney are already married in every important way … in the matters of the heart.
I’m wondering if Granny’s acknowledgment of your being “that way” is her loving way of saying, “I know, and it really doesn’t matter, but don’t push my 94yo limits.”
Or, I’m wondering, and as would be the case for many southern women** of her generation, is “that way” simply the most polite way of saying “I know who you are and am entirely OK with it, but I still think ‘gay’ is a label that should be reserved for a pretty bouquet of flowers or a breezy summer dress?”
I’m wondering what might happen if, should ever the right moment present itself, you told Granny that you and the Attorney are as married as you are allowed to be, and that it would mean a lot to you to have her permission to share his room when he next comes for a visit?
I’m wondering if the House Rules might be more accommodating than they appear.
In any event, the current House Rules seem to be a wonderful recipe for a very happy Home.
___________
*not in any pejorative sense, just simple curiosity.
**my late, southern-born&raised, Grandmother would now be in her 90′s. My Grandfather and she loved and adored my husband, who slept in the same bedroom with me whenever we visited.
Still, my Grandmother never once used or applied any kind of verbal label to us or our relationship … out of some odd mutual respect of our generational gap, some things between us were simply accepted with open arms, without the awkwardness of out-dated or modern verbal labels. (My grandparents, true progressives who were early supporters integration and thought MLK a hero, never ceased using the term “colored,” a term they thought of as very polite and modern.)
Loved the old blog, the new, the t-shirts and YOU.
Never commented before. X-southerner living in france.
I agree with what Damien said this week at 2cents. Your writing becomes about US. I never got to the point of “sharing the room” discussion with my family, too closeted.
Sweet, and respectful on both your parts, as it should be.
This is progress. And I agree with your gran…you should be married, I am old fashioned and romantic. Thanks for sharing
Very Touching. My mom used to never deny my partner & I sleeping together, never said anything about straight neices & newphew staying over with boyfriends either. In fact back in the 30′s her & my dad lived together for numeours years before getting married. She would have been 97 if still alive. We think that they’d be upset up I think they were more open too? God Bless You, Attorney & Granny.
It always feels good to break the house rules. Enjoy. LOVE AND HUGS
Come to New York and get married. No residency rules. I’ll even host, would be great to meet someone as special as you and bring granny along.
Granny is killin’ me! She’s a kick. And apparently still has her head about her.
What my late Grandmother and my Mother always state to this day: “Less said, easiest mended.” I think this applies only to relatives whom you love much more than the discussion at hand.
It sounds like Granny thinks that you can get legally married in Tennessee. And we already know that she recognizes you 2 as a loving, committed couple.
And of course she believes that marriage is the next step for you. Makes total sense to me—-Granny is so adorable!
Premarital sex?! Demon seed. Shame on you. You should be chaste (Heh, heh, heh.)