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I wish I had come across this video in time for my previous post, because it would have been a good one for the “30+ Day Challenge.”

While the timing may not have been perfect for the blog, it was kind of perfect for me.

The Attorney and I have been butting heads a bit lately.  The issue mostly stems, admittedly, from my own stubbornness.

I have always been fairly independent.  I sort of pride myself on handling things myself and being a provider.  I never want to be beholden to anyone for anything.

I will do whatever I can for someone else, but often I have trouble accepting even the simplest gesture in return.

Unfortunately, this tends to manifest itself in The Attorney feeling closed off from me.

This video has given me an epiphany, perhaps even a wake-up call, that to forge a bond you can’t only give unconditionally, you have to accept unconditionally, too.

Watch this video, and you will understand why I need to learn this “more than ever.”

This is the real deal, folks:

I picked this up from handsome blogger Kennethinthe212 who got it via Towleroad.

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  1. charley charley

    Agreed Tony, the real deal, created by Anthony Osso for the Devotion Project … role models most of us never had.

  2. Paul from Q Paul from Q

    Thanks for, having found it, sharing it. It’s wonderful to be reminded that “payback” isn’t always the b word. Though being each other’s project sounds a bit cold, the obvious devotion is inspirational.

  3. I too struggle with being independent in many ways when with someone. I always feel like I have to be the financial provider. I guess it stems from my dad always being the one to put food on the table for all of us. I have and continue to learn that depending on someone or letting someone help you better yourself is not a bad thing.

  4. thanks for making me cry…. I am going to have post this on facebook and my blog…dammit..

  5. That was a beautiful video to share Tony. It is so wonderful to have these stories to share, because as with you – the video touched me too and has given me something to reflect upon with my personal relationships.

  6. Kerry Kerry

    Yes, that’s the real deal. We should allhave such a wake-up call to not screw up or overlook or be so stubborn int he real deals in our lives. Thanks Guys!

  7. Curtis Curtis

    Simply beautiful.

  8. David David

    People who’ve had a rocky upbringing hate giving up control.

  9. artie1 artie1

    A very moving part of our history, which sometimes seems so overlooked for too long a time. Thank you for this.

  10. Sue Sue

    What lucky guys they were to be in each others’ company for 54 years! You learn, at least as heterosexuals, that marriage needs both give and take and that can be a hard lesson! Look at how many marriages don’t make it. Marriage is not easy by any means! I am very glad that you are taking notice and adapting so well. I with you and your beloved all the luck in the world!

  11. mike mike

    My husband and I are coming up on 26 years together. We moved in together after 18 months of dating.

    Not long after moving in, we were driving past an ATM, and I swerved in to get some cash, and, without thinking, asked, “hey, how much should I get for you?”

    Later, he asked why I did that, and so automatically. I said, “well, because every thing I have is yours now, too. Don’t you feel that way?” And he did feel that way. Generally, “Mine” and “His” had become “Ours.”

    In the years since, we’ve had a nice teeter-totter rhythm. He’s been there for my ups and downs, and I’ve been there for his. We balance each other out.

    Or, think of it this way: every time you refuse a simple (or a grand) gesture, you’ve just denied The Attorney, the guy you most want to make happy, a little bit of happiness.

    After reading you for years, I know you will, indeed, do whatever you can for someone else. And it sounds like you know what you can do for The Attorney.

    Happy Epiphany!

  12. brian brian

    Men together have issues of independance.
    Allowing oneself to be vulnerable is perhaps the hardest lesson to learn.
    By allowing yourself to trust enough to be open to someone else, and for them to be caring is truly an epiphany!

  13. Carl Carl

    Thanks for sharing that video. That video just shows one of many gay or lesbian relationships that have endured for many years. Keep working on staying with that sweetheart of yours, as Bill and John proved, it can work.

  14. Steve Steve

    You were right..

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