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They Shoot Horses

December 31st, 2011 § 10 comments

When a horse breaks its leg, they kill the whole animal.

The last two weeks have not been the best.

At least in regards to me and The Attorney.

Over the Holidays, our relationship has been on holiday.

Or hiatus, which is the word I used when I told him I needed some time apart to think things out.

Because something occurred that forced me to look at him a little differently.

Before you jump to conclusions, he didn’t cheat; he didn’t do anything harmful to me or to Granny.

But he did do something.  Something serious. Something that didn’t seem like The Attorney to me.

I was surprised.

I was even more surpised because I found out third hand.

He said he was too embarrassed to tell me.

That’s what crippled the horse.  Not telling me.

Granny, who is surprisingly aware of my feelings at  the same time she might not be aware of what day it is, reminded me of my senior year of high school.

I swung by a friend’s house after a ball game when I was supposed to come straight home.

I didn’t stay long.  Just a few minutes.  Long enough get my truck stuck in a ditch across the road from my buddy’s house.

We tried and tried to get it out, but only ended up digging deeper in the mud.

I had to call a tow truck, but didn’t have the $30.  So, friend’s mother loaned me the cash1

Waiting for a tow made me much later than what was allowed, but once it arrived, my truck was free in minutes and I was home.

Naturally I had to explain why I was late, so I took the punishment for going to my buddy’s instead of coming home.

I didn’t mention the tow.   My grandparents would not have tolerated me borrowing money.

I had it all straightened out, so why do they need to know?

Well..because we are the important people in each other’s lives.

And that means communication.

Of course they found out the whole story and I caught hell times ten for it.

They were surprised.  They were upset.  They were angry.

But, they didn’t shoot the horse.

Although it should be obvious, I’ve had to remind myself that a relationship is not a horse.

I thank Granny for the reminder.

So, tonight, this New Year’s Eve, the Attorney is coming up and we’ll put 2011 behind us.

That includes the hiatus.

Besides, the Mayans say that the world will end in 2012.  If they are right, I don’t want to spend my last year on earth without The Attorney.

No matter what year is my last.

{ fin }

  1. which I payed back in a week. []

§ 10 Responses to They Shoot Horses"

  • Chris says:

    I have a good friend who is a psychiatrist, after talking with him a few years years back about my family he said, grinning, its a relationship, a marriage, at least you know you are going to get screwed.
    Cheers!

  • Kevin M says:

    You certainly don’t want to shoot the horse (or rider, so to speak), but bear in mind you have two issues here. There’s the “not telling you” part, which you’ve already chosen to address; and the “something serious that didn’t seem like the Attorney to me” – which is, perhaps, an opportunity to get to know him better. I don’t know (or need to know) what it was, but you can ask yourself whether this didn’t seem like the Attorney because you didn’t know that facet of him, or whether it’s because he wasn’t acting like himself. It’s all a part of growing together.

  • Cb says:

    Ok, from your recent behavior I just KNEW something was up. I really hope it works out

  • Sue says:

    I have to agree with you Tony. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. What ever it is, maybe you guys can work it out. He is a smart man, and maybe he can be educated to see things your way. Have a happy new year!

  • irisgirl says:

    Granny is so awesome. And very wise. And I think the Attorney owes her Big Time!

  • David says:

    “So, tonight, this New Year’s Eve, the Attorney is coming up and we’ll put 2011 behind us.”

    Good!

  • Paul from Q says:

    They Shoot Horses, [Don't They] brings to mind much hurt, and yet your story ends, thankfully, on a positive note. I’ll be eager to follow you on your third leg and anxious for Granny and the big A.
    You know very well that as impressive as IT is, it won’t make that mark in the sand.

  • mike says:

    Returning to your post of a few days ago …

    It’s hard to live on a pedestal. A single misstep, a momentary loss of balance – one bad decision – and you go toppling off. And there you are, on the ground flat on your ass, embarrassed and sorry as hell for fucking up, and face-to-face with the one(s) who put you on the pedestal.

    Up close, your imperfections, not seen from below, come into sharp focus. And a moment of truth arrives. Will I still be liked, still be loved, when seen so closely?

    I’m really happy you and the Attorney were face-to-face when 2012 came in. Happy New Year, I’m looking forward to your Third Leg.

  • charley says:

    Tony “They Shoot Horses” reflects the evolution of your relationship with the attorney. You’re both handling this bump in the road with patience and maturity. Hang in there and you’ll continue to grow together. Please remember that you are both still individuals that are still learning to communicate as a couple. It’s not as easy as a stroll in woods.

    As an aside I’m looking forward to part three of LT. You’ve words have succeeded in making me laugh, smile, and cry. Truly a gift few possess. thanks.

  • martin says:

    Hello

    I love your blog.
    You should add it in the new gay bloggers’ platform.
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    What I like is that you can meet other gay bloggers with similar interests,
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    I just add my blog.
    That ‘s why I give you the tip.
    ;)

    Martin

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