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Year: 2011

30+ Day Challenge, part six

Day 6 – A picture of something that makes you happy.

A lot of things make me happy to different degrees and at different times.

But a big butt never fails to make me happy.

Because big butts makes my dick hard.

And you can’t have a boner and not be happy.

Trust me.

Try it.

And when it’s Hugh Jackman’s butt, it makes me so happy that I’m straining my britches. 1

That’s because, even though he’s a famous celebrity, his butt is not bubbled perfection.

That would be too intimidating to be fun.

Nope. He’s got a big ol’ regular working man’s butt.

A butt that strains his britches.2

Oh, yeah.  We got a whole lot of straining going on.3

That’s the kind of butt that makes we want to sneak my hand in his britches someplace– like maybe in a crowd at the Macy’s Parade — and finger-bang him while Bullwinkle and Underdog glide by.

That’s a picture that makes me so happy I just might need to change the sheets.

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  1. Again, trust me. []
  2. You know there’s gotta be some power in that ass. []
  3. Was that a Jerry Lee Lewis song? []

30+ Day Challenge, part 7

Day 7 – Favorite Movies

This one is a little bit tough for me because I don’t go out to the movies much.  I’d rather watch TV than go to the movies.  And most of the movies I see are on TV.  So, I tried to think of movies that, if they came on TV, I would be likely to stop whatever I was doing to watch.

In alphabetical order:

  • Brokeback Mountain
    Gay cowboy sex and Jake Gyllenhaal is the bottom?  Somebody was spying on my fantasy life.  Seriously though, it’s a really touching, sweet, heart-breaking story and something I can identify with in a lot of ways.  There are four moments in that movie that are seared into my brain: 1) Jake leaning casually against his truck.  2) Heath Ledger and the fireworks. 3) Heath mounting Jake1. and 4) Heath and the shirts.
  • The Color Purple
    Another visually stunning movie. Filled with raw emotions.  The actors put you through the emotional ringer.  Even though I know the outcome, every time I see it I get nervous and worried for Whoopi when she almost gets caught reading the letters, and for Oprah when she is about to tell off the mayor’s wife.  A real good buddy of mine can quote almost the whole movie word for word2, and he keeps me entertained every time he does.
  • Cool Hand Luke
    What a great story.  It’s walks the line between prison drama and comedy, never pushing either button too hard.  The egg eating scene is one of the best in any movie I have ever seen. Plus, Paul Newman’s eyes and grin can do things to me that ought not be mentioned on polite society.
  • Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
    Just fun to watch.  Totally unbelievable story, but you still believe every minute of it.
  • Muriel’s Wedding
    The same buddy who can quote Miss Sofia and Miss Celie gave me the DVD of this for Christmas a few years back.  Never thought it would be anything I would like.  But I watched it because he was thoughtful enough to give it to me.  I was completely drawn in.  Funny, sweet, sad, pathetic.  Everything.
  • The Princess Bride
    Without it, there would never have been Shrek, which I also like3.  It’s amazing how it has all the elements of a standard fairy tale, but is still so original.  And funny. The goblet switching scene is like gold.
  • Sixteen Candles
    A character named Long Duk Dong?  Need I say more?  What’s cool is that as outrageous as the situations are, they are still kind of true to the feelings of teenagers.
  • The Talented Mr. Ripley
    What are great sort of thriller, but without all the stupid shit that real thrillers have.  And I could watch Jude Law step out of the tub over and over and over and over…
  • To Kill A Mockingbird
    How anyone watches this movie4 and doesn’t leave it feeling compelled to at least examine their own past actions, interactions, or judgements, is beyond me. And how cool is it that I have my own personal Atticus Finch to learn from?

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  1. of course []
  2. mimicking the actors voices []
  3. even at age 35 []
  4. or reads the book []

Picking Up The Scent

You know how a certain smell will remind you of a certain time or place?

For example, there is a certain smell–and I can’t even tell you what it is–that always makes me think of the first day of school.  I wish I could describe it as the smell of books, or fresh pencils, or something.  But I can’t.

I wish I could say it was the smell of a particular school, or even schools in general.

But it’s not.

It’s the first day of school.

Not the second.  Not the last.

Or any in between.

Only the first.

It’s interesting how the association of a smell can be that particular but at the same time you can’t pin point exactly where you picked it up.

I got to thinking about it when I got a whiff of  The Attorney on my fingertips a few moments ago.

It’s not anything obvious like the smell of his after shave or the smell of his sweat.

Not even the smell of our sex.

But it is the smell of Friday nights.

The association, in this case, is much more clear.  Because Friday nights is generally “our night.”

But where exactly did my fingers pick up the scent?

Was it from handling his coat when he showed up?

Was it from holding the back of his head with my left hand when we kissed?  Or from sneaking into the back of his jeans with my right?

Maybe it was when I stroked the broadness of his backed, or tugged on his hair where it starts to thicken just under his navel.

Or any number of other places.

Lord knows what you can pick up on a Friday night.

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Three Way

This could potentially have been a post involving Jake, Hugh, and myself…but I don’t consider that a three-way as much as a one-man gang bang.1

I got called out on Twitter by Brenton at Aussielicious2 for not keeping up with my 30+Day Challenge after only seven days. So, in response, I’m offering up a three-way:

Three Challenge posts in one.

Day 8- Something You Are Afraid Of:

This one is easy, because I’m really not that afraid of much.  It’s not that I’m some bad-ass or something.  It’s just that a lot f things you hear generally hear people being afraid of3 don’t bother me.  So, it’ll be probably be surprising to hear that my main phobia is Equinophobia.4

The fear of horses.


It’s not a fear of riding horses.  I would never get close enough to one to find that out.

The sight of a horse doesn’t bother me.  And I don’t have nightmares5 about them.

But, I’m really uneasy standing next to one.

I always feel like I’m going to get bitten or kicked in the head.

Which are my main fears when it comes to horses.

So, maybe my phobia is something more specific.

Like Equinochompaphobia6: the fear of being bitten by a horse.

Or Equinorockettephobia7: The fear of getting high-kicked by a team of horses.

Day 9- Favorite TV Shows

Just like my choices in movies, I tend to go sort of old-school with TV.

My favorite of all shows in TV history is also one of the oldest:

  • I Love Lucy
    My feelings about it are in the title.  I have seen all the episodes a million times.  I always know what’s going to happen.  I can’t recite8 a lot of the lines.  But it still always makes me laugh.  Even as hokey and impossible9 as some of the things that happen are, you totally believe it while you watch it.  Even more than 50 years later.  And they had a two-part episode set in Tennessee.  Can’t be that.
  • The Andy Griffith Show
    How can I not love a show that helped inspire the title of the blog? I like the way it gave humor to living in a small town and living in the South without making everybody a buffoon like The Beverly Hillbillies ( (which I have to admit has it’s own charms))  The show, like a lot of TV, was at it’s best in the earliest seasons. Oddly the show lost it’s vibrancy when they shifted from black and white to color.  It became flat and dull. It was almost like the color-coating covered up everything that was great.
  • Cheers
    This is a show I was able to watch as it was first being aired.  It’s also one of the few shows that I think got better in it’s later years.  When I see reruns now, it’s the later episodes I like the best.  Maybe because those are the ones from around the time I was in high school10, and it was probably my favorite show at the time.
  • The Sopranos and Oz
    These are about the only dramas that I ever really really got into. They never seemed to have the self-importance that so many TV dramas do.  They were riveting and gripping without telling you they were.  And Oz had lots of naked Christopher Meloni(NSFW). I gave up my HBO subscription after they both went off the air.
  • Modern Family
    This is my current favorite, and the first time I have bought a season DVD of a show still on the air.  Looking back at this list, it seems like I like shows that, even if they have a star, it’s the group dynamic of the whole cast that really makes the show work.  This show is the King when it comes to that.  Even the kids on the show are good.  They are real people like the adults.  The best thing about this show is that it always ends with a nice message about the family dynamic without being heavy-handed or even the least bit preachy.  They really sneak it up on you.  If you don’t watch it, do.

Day 10-Something You Don’t Leave The House Without

I guess this means something that you always have with you.

The easiest answer is my wallet.  I’m just not somebody who comes with a lot of accessories.

But more specifically, there are two things I always have in my wallet:

A rubber and a dollar bill.

Both are habits held over from when I was teenager.

I remember hearing my father tell my brother to always have at least one dollar in your pocket, so that if you ever get stopped by the law you can’t get arrested for vagrancy.

I don’t remember him ever saying it to me.  But, I was younger and he probably never thought of me as the type to get in trouble like that.

Which I think on some level that was disappointing to him.  Not disappointing that I never was in trouble with the police.  Just that I wasn’t  enough of a hell-raiser for it to be a possibility.

The rubber, of course, came from being on the ready if a good fuck was to come along.  Initially it was a way to keep from being a daddy who couldn’t even vote yet11. Then it became about to be a shield from disease, and infections.  But, since I have not been in anybody but the Attorney in the last five years, I guess it’s just habit.   I don’t need to be on the ready anymore.  If a good fuck comes my way, I know where it’s coming from, and where he keeps the rubbers.

Yes, even after all this time, we still use them.  I can’t even explain why.  Maybe it’s my irrational germaphobe tendencies coming out.  Maybe it’s because we both get a bit of a charge out of the ritual of putting on the armor12   Maybe it’s just that we never stopped.

Dollars, rubbers, or rituals..old habits die hard.

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  1. It’s the gang that gets banged in this case. []
  2. Are there any unattractive men in Australia? []
  3. heights, spiders, blood, etc. []
  4. I looked it up. []
  5. No pun intended, but I love it anyway. []
  6. I made up the name []
  7. Made up this one, too []
  8. or at least remember []
  9. a loaf of bread coming out of the oven and stretching across the kitchen. []
  10. and therefore old enough to enjoy []
  11. Something else my brother was more prone to do. []
  12. He’s the valet. []

30+ Day Challenge, Part Eleven

Day 11- A Bible Verse:

If I am a disappointment in any way to my Granny, it’s that I am not a church-goer.  I haven’t been since I was a teenager. I became disillusioned with organized religion because of the behavior and attitudes of leaders of churches, famous and not.  There seemed to be1 very little practicing of the preaching.

Consequently, I don’t know the Bible very well.

So I had to search around for a quote.

And I found one.

Ephesians 4:2

“Be humble and gentle in every way. Be patient with each other and lovingly accept each other.”

That’s a translation from a contemporary bible.

The King James version writes it as ” With all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love.”

I know a lot of people think that the King James Bible is the only real bible, and should not be translated into modern language.  Somehow they missed the fact that King James is a translation, itself.  I may not know much about the Bible, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t originally written in English.

But, back to the quote:

“Be humble and gentle in every way. Be patient with each other and lovingly accept each other.”

Basically, be a nice person and treat everybody with respect.

It’s how I try to live my life.

I’m not always successful.  No one can be a hundred percent of the time.  We’re only human. Yet, we seem to be losing our grip on basic human decency.

It seems like, more and more, so many folks don’t even make the attempt.

Things as simple as agreeing to disagree went out the window long ago.

We are a race of individuals, so we are never going to all see eye-to-eye.

But I wonder if we will ever see the value in each other.

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  1. and continues to be []


I found out there is something called the “Stylish Blogger Award.”

I don’t know the origins of it, but it’s something that you awarded/nominated for by other bloggers who have you on their blog roll.

I guess it’s a way of making your readers more aware of who else is out there.

So, that’s not a bad thing.

Anyway, Blobby’s Blog was a recent winner of the award, as was Alan at One Step At A Time, and they were nice enough to pass it on to me.

I’m not sure what the criteria is for nominations, but I don’t think style is really a requirement because style is not a word that has ever been use to describe me.

The award is really a meme because it comes with directions.

Basically you link back to whoever nominated you, list seven things about yourself, and nominate and contact 5 others.

I already linked the nominators above.

Seven things:

  1. I love Hershey’s chocolate
  2. Chopping and splitting wood is relaxing to me
  3. I am a terrible dancer
  4. I’m a worse singer
  5. I have an exhibitionist streak
  6. I hate loud noises, sounds, etc.
  7. I have a bit of OCD when it comes to order

Five nominees (in no particular order):

  1. Spirit of St. Lewis – His blog has a style all his own.  And wears it proudly.
  2. Fair View – An intriguing blend of slices of life, storytelling, and intense porn.
  3. Aussielicious – Photographer, graphic artist, acrobat, lifeguard, model, and a sweet guy.
  4. Alan Bennett Ilagan – Style is this man’s middle name.
  5. Yaniblog – He’s got some great photography and an eye for style.
  6. BONUS: Brett Cajun – Because I know he likes awards and winning.  😉

Check them out.  In fact, check out everybody on the blog roll.  You’ll find lots to enjoy.

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Dream House

I decided I ‘m not going to title the posts as “30+ Day Challenge Part ___” anymore because some people would get here and not realize its a new post.  So the titles from here on will be the subject of the challenge.

Challenge # 12 is : Dream House

In terms of style or how it is decorated, I don’t know exactly what it would be.  I would need the help of a designer or architect for that.

One thing I do know is that I want it to be in the mountains.  Probably right here in the Smokies because I can’t imagine living anywhere else.

It wouldn’t be log home.  Not even one of those hi-end ones.  But wood timbers and medium to dark stained wood would be nice.

And windows.  Big, big windows that let in lots of light and gave great views of the mountains.  But, the house would need to be isolated enough that I could still walk around the house nekkid in front of those windows.

I just want it to be simple and very ordered.  Not real big.  Just enough square footage for two of us to be comfortable and each have a little space to call our own and be able to retreat to.

I’d like high ceilings and doorways, and a fairly open floor plan.  In fact, the only true rooms, to suit me, would be the bed room and bathroom, which would have a two-man shower. I suppose a guest bedroom and bath would be handy, too.

I don’t need much closet space, although The Attorney does.  But I do want enough storage space to keep things neat, and we both need lots of bookshelves.  Built-ins would be nice.

While I don’t necessarily want a big house, I do want a pretty good sized kitchen with a gas stove and with a nice island counter workspace. 1  I want a window over the sink that faces east for morning sunrise, and a screened porch where I can keep my morning alone-time ritual of oatmeal and an apple.

I guess to be truly a Dream House, I should be thinking more extravagant than I am.  So, in the spirit of the post, add a mountain-side swimming pool that over looks the valley, a basketball half-court, and an outdoor shower.

That would pretty much be it.

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  1. It’s also a nice sturdy horizontal surface. []

Foward Fast

About a week ago, I met up briefly with The Attorney at a bar to have a couple of beers after work.

The place we went to isn’t a gay bar, but it has a mixed crowd.

There were three guys in the booth next to us, one of which kept looking over The Attorney’s shoulder trying to catch my eye.

He was so persistent, I figured it must be somebody I know.

Turns out I was wrong.  I didn’t know him from Adam.

He didn’t know me either, because when the Attorney went to the men’s room, the guy turned around and leaned over the booth to ask me my name.

Then he asked about The Attorney.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

Even though he got a “Yes” answer, he pressed on.

“Does he let you play?”

After picking my jaw up, I let him know that The Attorney doesn’t “let” me do or not do anything.  I make my own decisions.  And, also, that I don’t play.

“Not ever?”

Now, I know some guys, even after they know you are spoken for,  may still flirt with you a little just for fun.  I do it myself.1  But, I’d never come across somebody this forward.

Even one of his friends told him to leave me alone.

And so he did.

After he pushed his phone number across the table.

“In case you ever need it.”

He was like one of those kinds of girls that Granny always referred to as “fast.”

The Attorney came back and I left the number under a beer bottle on the table when we got up to go.

“Bye, Tony”

It was him again.

Naturally, The Attorney asked who he was.

“I don’t know,” I answered.

Because I didn’t know.  I never asked or looked to see if there was a name with the number.

The Attorney just shook his head at me.

“You are such a flirt.”


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  1. The Attorney knows it, and is not bothered by it. []